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Joke of the Day

"Why is flatulence more satisfying after a long struggle to push it out? Because you know you made a real ef-**fart**"

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"So a termite walks into a bar and asks ""Is the bar tender here?"""
"I added Paul walker on Xbox He spends all his time on the dashboard"
"What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle? A-tyre"
"You had a flat tire on the highway? What was that like? [cut to: me crying helplessly until AAA arrives] Your survival instincts take over"
"Q4: What is the head of an Italian dinosaur family called? A: Ptera Don"
"Why did the pig go to the casino ? To play the slop machine !"
"What's Obama's Favorite TV Show? Game of Drones"
"When I call 911, I'm gonna do a Sean Connery impersonation to briefly amuse the jurors at my trial."
"All I said was, Even those starving kids in Africa wouldn't eat your cooking and my wifes foot became Mayor of my ass on Foursquare."