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Joke of the Day

"So I'm here at the wailing wall, like a moron, with my harpoon."

"How are your step mother and a 17 in the card game 21 similar? You know you can't but you really want to hit it."

"This pill bottle says 'Take with plenty of fluids' and 'Don't take with alcohol'. That doesn't even make sense."

"Last Supper Recently discovered scrolls reveal Jesus' words to his disciples at the Last Supper: ""If you guys want to be in the picture, you've got to get on this side of the table."""

"I'm not sure about accusing someone of wanting to get into my pants. I'd like to see him try. I can hardly get into them myself.."

"My ex said she left me because of my short attention span. Unbeknownst to her I actually...damn that's a cool ass word right? Unbeknownst."

"Why does a blonde woman close her eyes in front of the mirror? To see how she looks like when sleeping."

"Ah, spring is here. Time to open the windows and remind my neighbors that I know every word to the ""Grease"" soundtrack."

"I forgot to take my wallet out of my pants in the washer. I have committed money laundering."

"Hot kraft singles in my pocket waiting to meet you."