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Joke of the Day
"So I'm here at the wailing wall, like a moron, with my harpoon."
Next Joke
"What do you call a dog with no legs? Well it don't matter i ain't coming anyway!"
"Someone stole my mood ring. I dont know how i feel about that."
"We met for coffee yada yada yada next thing I know we're in the back of my car covered in lobsters and her dog is driving us to the ER"
"What's black, white, and red all over? A newspaper."
"I was researching facts about euthanasia... They're extremely malnourished"
"Why do SCUBA divers fall backwards out of the boat? Because if they fell forward they would land in the boat!"
"A cat, by any other name, is still a sneaky little furball that barfs on the furniture."
"Dont be afraid of change, its inevitable. Unless youre homeless. Then you might have to go around asking for it. By the way, I dont have any"
"(Mayday) PILOT: I didn't go thru 9 years of flight school to crash ME: *relieved* Thank G- P: I went through 0, so the crash will make sense"