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Joke of the Day

"Haters gonna hate. Tweeters gonna tweet. It's actually pretty obvious that verbs are performed by their respective nouns."

"Why does the Mexican man chain his dog away before the mailman comes? Because his panics."

"Lets go to the symphony Beethoven: You guys want some symphonies tonight!? Crowd: **cheers loudly** Beethoven: I can't hear you!"

"How many bassists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. Just have the keybord player do it with their left hand."

"Why are there no good jokes about men? Because they were written by women."

"I fed the cows marijuana. The steaks have never been higher."

"A girl say to her boyfriend ""we need to talk....I'm pegnant""..... The boyfriend replies ""Hi Pregnant! I'm Dad!"""

"You can stop advertising pizza and beer during football. People who watch football know about them."

"What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb? You can unscrew the light bulb."

"The coolest thing about dating Mystique from the X-men is the unlimited free food samples she can get for you at Costco"