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Joke of the Day

"Why is the sport of cricket called cricket? A: **Because it's boring.** *Was told this by a 10 year old, and didn't quite get it at first, but I think it's rather genius.*"

"A wise man once said, a cheating wife is like a deck of playing cards... You need a heart to love her A diamond to marry her A club to smash her fucking head in And a spade to bury the bitch..."

"Taking your shirt off when fighting is a great way to tell the cops who to arrest."

"Bolt beats De Grasse in 200m because he's Jamaican You could even say Bolt smokes De Grasse."

"Why does snoop dog need an umbrella? Fo' drizzle...."

"People that study meteors are called weatherologists"

"Why did a Mexican girl get pregnant? She was told to do an essay in school."

"I tried smoking hash the other day... But I couldn't get to corned-beef lit."

"Why couldn't Helen Keller drive a car? because she was a woman!"

"Reasons to keep spiders around 1. Eat flying insects 2. Occasional source of protein during sleep 3. We make rad webs 4. They do i mean they"