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Joke of the Day

"A debator turned politician ordered everyone with beards to go home and come back the next day. He wanted them touche-v it."

"How do you restore your body back to 'factory settings'? Is it kale? it's kale, isn't it? please don't say kale."

"What do you call two crows sitting in a tree? Attempted murder."

"well, i guess this was bound to happen. i left the pot and the kettle on the stove overnight and the pot committed a hate crime."

"My friend told me he was afraid of Al Queda... Guess that makes him an iraqnaphobe"

"What is a Canadian vampire's favourite drink? Type Eh."

"Picking up a drug addict is easy... They go for any line."

"How to legalize animal poaching ? Drop a kid in their zoo enclosure."

"What did the busy port master say to the rowdy pirates who wanted to dock? ""I don't have time for your ship."""

"welcome to hipster church. this is my body *bites vegan cookie* this is my blood *sips garage-brewed IPA*"