114173

Joke of the Day

"Why did the mermaid wear SeaShells? Because she outgrew her B-Shells. Ha..."

"A ladies magazine told me to compliment my wifes booty. So I told her I was glad it wasn't hairy. I need a place to stay"

"Q:Of the set; 689 and 986, which is larger? A) 689 B)986 C) Who cares, as long as they are having a good time!"

"Just wanted to tell the weekend that I love you and I will be back, I will not let the weekdays take me away from you."

"My twittercide will be like the final scene in BraveHeart but a doughnut will fall from my hand in slowmo instead of an embroidered hanky."

"Sometimes I think my dog is only interested in food, then I realise that's mostly all I'm interested in as well. He's alright."

"Guy at the Apple store suggested I turn off my phone once a week, so I slapped his face and ran out of the store crying."

"Lately I've started telling tree jokes. I think it's time to branch out."

"Why does Missouri share borders with the most amount of States? Because Missouri loves company"

"My buddy and I started a mountaineering business 6 months ago, and things haven't been going so well. We may have peaked early."