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Joke of the Day

"Wanted to tweet ""I'm hella tired"" but my phone keeps autocorrecting ""hella"" to ""REALLY? HELLA? YOU ARE A GROWN-ASS LADY, KNOCK IT OFF."""

"A man walks into a library and asks ""do you have that book for men with small penises?"" The librarian looks on her computer and says ""I don't know if it's in yet."" ""Yeah that's the one."""

"""Life"" is like a box of chocolates: they're both food that come in boxes"

"What State do you go to to ask questions? Al-ask-ya"

"Why is Mortal Kombat X popular among SJWs? Because it has the Block Button. *cue the flames*"

"My wife has two weeks left to live... Then I'm going to stab her."

"are everyone all al'right no! you are all al'left"

"Someone sly sheared sleeping sheep. Talk about shear terror."

"Why were the strawberries sad? Because their mother was in a jam!"

"I don't see enough dead people."