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Joke of the Day
"What's the best thing about twenty eight year olds? There's twenty of them."
Next Joke
"LAWYER: Your Honor, I'd like to approach the bench BENCH: I have a boyfriend"
"How many Frenchman does it take to defend France? I don't know. They've never tried."
"What do you call it when an Irish band is caught lip syncing? Sham rock."
"Divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter, and what do you get? Pumpkin pi."
"I'm worried that if I give up smoking I'll replace it with murdering."
"What did the left leg say to the right leg? Between me and you, we need a haircut. (I got this from some UK magazine years ago)"
"I'd tell you the one about the Jonestown Massacre, BUT... The punch line's too long."
"[sex in car] ME: Remember when you could do this without fear of strangers watching? BF: Yes UBER DRIVER: Would you like a water?"
"""Do you want to hold my baby?"" Yeah nice try. You got yourself into this mess you hold your own damn baby."