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Joke of the Day

"What did the left leg say to the right leg? Between me and you, we need a haircut. (I got this from some UK magazine years ago)"

"I'm offering a $1,000 reward to anyone who brings me $1,000 and two tacos."

"You know how some people call their erect penis a 'hard on'? What do evil midgets call it? A *minion*"

"My Doctor just diagnosed me with Tom Jones Syndrome... ""Is it common?"" I said. ""Well..."" He replied ""It's not unusual"""

"Him: You smell good...what are you wearing? Me: Weed."

"Why can't Athiests solve exponential problems? Because they don't believe in higher powers."

"Favorite joke as a kid. How did Hitler tie his shoes? With little Nazis."

"Person on this home improvement show said everybody needs ""a good screwing surface."" Can't argue with that logic."

"I fell out of a tree and landed on an antelope. I was impala'd"

"Google announced their plan to launch an application to challenge the popular ride sharing app, Uber. The new faction in Google's enterprise should be called, Goober."