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Joke of the Day

"What's green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? A girl scout that got hit by a car."

"What does baby computer call his father? Data."

"I'm thankful my wife harvested over $100,000 in potatoes on Farmville while I ate a grilled cheese for dinner & am sleeping on dirty laundry"

"Two whales walk into a bar The first whale says to the bartender ""WHAAAA-EEEEEEEE-OOOOOOO-UUUUUU"" The second whale turns to the first and says ""Frank! What the hell is wrong with you?"""

"How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? Wash her hand out with soap. ... rearranged the furniture. ... put her in a round room and told her to go sit in the corner."

"All I ask is a chance to prove money can't make me happy. "

"Hello tumblr, I'm moon landing fictionkin"

"New Channels: Bin Laden dead That's ruined the game, what do we do now it's our turn to hide?"

"What do you call a can made in Mexico? A Mexican."

"Why did the hippie lifeguard not save the drowning boy? He was too far out man!!"