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Joke of the Day
"Hello tumblr, I'm moon landing fictionkin"
Next Joke
"My dog said ""woof"" so I said ""woof"" & now I'm afraid of what I may have agreed to."
"How do you make a hormone? Don't pay her..."
"[Watching boxing] Sure bro, I watch boxing all the ti- HEY DID YOU SEE WHAT HE JUST DID?! HE JUST PUNCHED THAT GUY! SOMEONE CALL THE COPS!"
"About 4,000 years ago: God: I shall create a great plague and every living thing on Earth will die! Fish: *Winks at God and slips him a $20 note* God: Correction, I shall create a great flood!"
"""The first guy to suggest peeing on a jellyfish sting was called a pervert but it worked"" I said to my wife as she complained of a toothache"
"What do you call a Mexican fighting a Catholic priest? Alien vs. Predator"
"What does sex and banks have in common? You put it in, you take it out, then you lose interest!"
"Hopscotch would be a lot more challenging if the kids actually had scotch.."
"Babies and Gin I like my babies like I like my martinis. Shaken."