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Joke of the Day

"Why was the Muslim rubbing the goat? Not because he was into beastiality you Islamophobe... He was at the petting zoo for his wife's 9th birthday."

"What's the difference between a cactus and a BMW? I've never stuffed a BMW up my rectum."

"I got into an argument with a girlfriend inside of a tent.. That's a bad place for an argument. Because then I tried to walk out and slam the flap."

"Reading a Chinese newspaper is like looking at 1,000 douchebag tattoos at once."

"Very proud I've never once screamed ""Woo!"" at anything."

"(New version) How many Germans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three, one to genetically engineer people small enough to fit in a light bulb, and two to do the rest."

"What do you call a short psychic who hasn't yet been apprehended? A small medium at-large?"

"What type of meat are your calves made of? Bologna."

"What do you get when you stab a baby with a knife? An erection and a place to put it."

"At first I didn't like my beard.. But now it's starting to grow on me."