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Joke of the Day

"Bro:hey how are you? Me: eh, feeling stabby B: B:I'm afraid if I tell you that's not a real word you'll show me what it means. Me: smart"

"I heard I'm so bad at making jokes. It's laughable."

"She's got the face of an angel, a heart of gold, & a body that won't quit. Who cares that she curses like a trucker and drinks like a fish."

"How do you make a dog sound like a cat? You freeze it, put it on a bandsaw and cut it; ""Meoooow""."

"[coworker starts talking to me at my cubicle] Welp, nice chatting. This is my stop. [puts in earbuds]"

"Why did James Gandolfini die of a heart attack? Because he was fat."

"What did one tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches."

"Happy Thursday guys and remember. If you can't spot the douche at work today, then it's probably you."

"Money can't buy happiness, but it can help you look for it quicker, in a convertible."

"Why was the belt locked up? Because it held a pair of pants."