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Joke of the Day

"How do you make a dog sound like a cat? You freeze it, put it on a bandsaw and cut it; ""Meoooow""."

"You could call a woman beautiful 100 times and she'll never remember it. But call her ugly once and she'll never forget it. You know why? Because an elephant never forgets."

"I don't trust a taxi cab that has more than two air fresheners."

"Cannibal boy: mommy I don't like grandpa Cannibal mom: alright sweety, just eat the potatos"

"How many McDonalds workers does it take to change a lightbulb? None, because they can't climb the ladder."

"What do you say when somebody else has ruined your joke? RIP post"

"A haunted house, but just with a bunch of mall kiosk guys chasing you with face cream"

"Rules to learning English: their our know rules"

"I'm at my classiest when my date rips my bra off and cookie crumbs fall out"

"My Dad's Maths Joke: Why do programmers confuse Christmas and Halloween? Because Dec 25 is Oct 31 Edit: corrected because I'm a fucking tool"