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Joke of the Day

"I heard I'm so bad at making jokes. It's laughable."

"I am sorry about this. I'm not proud of it. Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He didn't have the guts."

"I'm a man who hates rocks *smashes a rock with a sledgehammer* oh great I just made like a thousand more rocks"

"Top-down is the right way to wash just about anything... ...but apparently not convertibles."

"Whats better than winning gold at the paralympics? Having legs....."

"Last night I found out that my wife has conditional gender dysphoria. She said that she needed to be Frank with me."

"When things are bad, remember: At least you're not as big an asshole as the guy who invented putting walnuts in chocolate chip cookies."

"What's the best thing about having Parkinson's? Never having to buy another electric toothbrush."

"Context is everything ""Jesus loves you!"" A lovely thing to hear in church. Not so much in a Mexican prison."

"Wouldn't it be so cool if life had notifications like, *ONE NEW NOTIFICATION* Your boyfriend/girlfriend just cheated on you.."