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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta... F*ck you guys this is funny to me."

"I left my .door file open for too long. It was a .jar."

"My daughter is getting to the age where she is asking embarrassing questions about sex... yesterday she asked me: ""Is that all you got?"""

"How many heroin addicts does it take to change a lightbulb? Four. One to hold the lightbulb and three to smoke until the room starts spinning!"

"The list of Republican Presidential Candidates."

"Saying you like a lot of meat in your taco is received differently on Twitter than it is on Facebook. I know that now."

"My toddler is legit angry at me because I wouldn't let her jump out a second story window today. This is why you need birth control ladies."

"I found out I was dyslexic when I got invited to a toga party. I turned up as a goat."

"Antenna's Wedding Two antennas got married. The ceremony was awful but the reception was awesome."

"So a man goes and tells his wife he's going to take the day off..."