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Joke of the Day

"Can't believe it's 2012 and still possible for me to cut myself shaving."

"[God creating bats] GOD: I wonder what a bird would look like if it was a demon?"

"What should you do if you're cold? Stand in a corner. They're usually 90 degrees."

"What do you get when you have sex with an Alligator? Gatoraids"

"The museum curator was able to identify the slutty violin... ...it was a Straddlevarious :("

"""These boobs are made for walking!"" -Inventor of FootBoobs."

"3 biggest women lies :) 1. I will not change after marriage. 2. I forgive you. --- EDIT: 2. It's fine. I forgive you. 3. I am going shopping. I will be back in 30 minutes."

"What's the difference between jam and jelly? You can't jelly a cock down a throat."

"Why couldn't the soldier feel his legs? Because his arms were blown off."

"What is the similarity between an airplane and a woman? The cockpit"