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Joke of the Day

"What did one tile say when the other tile offered it a glass of port? No thanks, it's bad for my grout."

"Why does everyone have to point out they adopted their dog? Are they worried that we are suspicious because it doesn't look like them?"

"Girl can I get your digits? Jack the Ripper was a quite a pickup artist."

"Thieves had broken into my house and stolen everything except my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant. Dirty Bastards !!!"

"Vending machines are so homophobic Like, I'm sorry my dollar bill wasn't straight enough for you."

"July 5th, 1776: The day the British drunk-texted America and said they still loved them."

"My friend stopped taking steroids recently... It wasn't working out for him."

"What do you call a reptiloid that crashed landed its spaceship? Imsosaurus!"

"What's long and hard and fucks old people? Osteoporosis"

"A coworker wouldn't stop bragging about her upcoming trip to Hawaii, so I emailed her a bunch of pictures of plane crashes."