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Joke of the Day

"Vending machines are so homophobic Like, I'm sorry my dollar bill wasn't straight enough for you."

"Depressed cows feel like life is udderly hopeless. But now there's hope. Ask your doctor if Cowbucil is right for your cow."

"""Pass the joint."" -Cannibals at dinner"

"Sally Why did Sally fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock (Reader says who's there) Not Sally."

"They say there's safety in numbers. Tell that to six million Jews..."

"Imagine my surprise at the school Thanksgiving ""costume"" party, when I showed up as Poison Ivy and everyone else was dressed as pilgrims."

"Where do cows go when they die? Burgertory"

"Sorry I'm late, I was staring at a picture of the Ninja Turtles for an hour trying to figure out why they always wear belts with no pants."

"Why didn't the engineer cross his own bridge? Because he didn't truss it."

"Charley wanted to buy Farley a birthday cake but he couldn't figure out how to get the cake in the typewriter so he could type 'Happy Birthday'"