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Joke of the Day

"July 5th, 1776: The day the British drunk-texted America and said they still loved them."

"What do the twin towers and genders have in common? There used to be exactly two, and now it's too offensive to talk about."

"Rumors. Well at least you're spreading something else besides your legs."

"How does a metalworker like his Steak cooked? wel-dern"

"Q: What can strike a blonde without her even knowing it? A: A thought."

"I want to name my next pet Peeve."

"Do you know the 6 states of matter? 1. Solid 2. Liquid 3. Gas 4. Plasma. 5. BoseEinstein condensate 6. Black Lives"

"Did you hear about the people holding a raffle with the prize as a coffin? It was a dead giveaway."

"Why did Sony pull ""The Interview"" ? They were afraid it would bomb at the movie theaters"

"Never commit a crime while working out Lest you get ill gotten gainz."