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Joke of the Day

"July 5th, 1776: The day the British drunk-texted America and said they still loved them."

"What do you call a bicycle with no seat? A real pain in the ass."

"What does autocorrect and women have in common? They both jump to concussion"

"How many Chinese people does it take to change a light bulb? Only one but he has to manufacture it first."

"I saw a beautiful pumpkin today... It was gourdeous."

"This invitation says, ""Regrets only,"" so I'm sending them a note that says, ""My hair throughout most of the 90s."""

"I only go to porn sites because I'm addicted to computer viruses."

"Did you know that 1 in 4 people has multiple personality disorder? That means one of the me's has a problem."

"Shoving a hose up someones butt. What a douche move!"

"Guys, for Valentine's Day leave 3 notes scattered around your house for your girlfriend that say ""Will"", ""you"", and ""me."" That'll keep her busy while you watch sports."