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Joke of the Day

"There's that man in Utah that makes cheese all by himself. They call him the Provo Lone guy."

"How does a Trumpie become a smooth talker? Takes a laxative."

"I've worked at my job for 7 years & my boss still hasn't noticed that I only give Magic 8-Ball responses to all of his questions."

"Hillary's doctor tells her she has the heart of a 20 year old And now he wants her to give it back to whoever she carved it out of their chest."

"Lunch Me and the girlfriend went out for lunch today. Money is a bit tight so after the meal she said ""lets go Dutch"". I said ""Fook that lets go Greek"" and we both legged it"

"Q: How do you know when a trumpet player is at your door? A: The doorbell shrieks!"

"As an adult very few things are less humiliating than being caught in public trying to be cute for a selfie."

"Whoa whoa, calm the fuck down Swiffer commercials, you're a wet paper towel on a stick."

"Office assistant is throwing darts at a picture of her boss. Phone rings. It's the boss. Boss: What are you doing right now? Assistant: Missing you."

"*on deathbed* ""Son u were *cough* ado-"" ""Dad? I was adopted?!"" ""A dot of misery on my otherwise happy life. I don't know why we adopted u."""