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Joke of the Day
"What is that thing called when your crush likes you back? Imagination."
Next Joke
"Why do Iraqi police officers walk in threes? The first knows how to read the second knows how to write and the third is to keep an eye on the two intellectuals."
"DETECTIVE: There are signs of a struggle here [earlier that morning] ME: *trying to get up for work*"
"My gay friend told me he loves living in Pennsylvania. He's never seen so many assholes in his life."
"[Signing waiver for the show Cops] No no, you don't have to blur my face but how about a sweet mustache?"
"Writing a personal ad. So far I have: Has all own teeth"
"You know what the best thing about Alzheimer's is? You can hide your own Easter eggs."
"What did the mime say to his girlfriend?"
"Why does the divorced guy keep a tampon on the top of his tv set? To remind him of the cunt that has his DVD player."
"An atheist and a vegan walk into a bar... The only reason I know this is because they both told everybody."