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Joke of the Day

"Writing a personal ad. So far I have: Has all own teeth"

"Why was the Ethiopian baby crying? He was having a mid-life crisis"

"Have you decided on dinner? ""Yes, I'll have the chicken, grilled."" Very good. *hears waiter yelling at chicken* WHERE WERE YOU LAST TUESDAY"

"What's the difference between a biscuit and a monster? You can dip a biscuit in your tea but a monster is too big to fit in the cup."

"Q: How many bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two. One to screw it in and one to complain that it's electrified."

"Why did North Korea tell South Korea not to crow about the recent agreement? Because they'd rather see them raven. Obligatory apology: saw a headline and couldn't resist."

"Me: Close your eyes. Give me your hand, darling. Can you feel my heart beating? Do you unders... Dr:(removes stethoscope) Really? Everytime?"

"Did you hear about the cow who gambled on an airplane? The steaks couldn't have been higher."

"Old joke I can dodge a Ford, but can't afford a Dodge..."

"Just sewed together 3 bras to put on my neighbor's dog to cover its horrifying tits."