221506

Joke of the Day

"[Signing waiver for the show Cops] No no, you don't have to blur my face but how about a sweet mustache?"

"How many calories do you get from eating pussy? It depends on which way she wipes her ass."

"What's a pedophile's favorite wing in a children's hospital? ICU"

"What does Captain Falcon say when he goes to Starbucks? ""Show me your brews!"""

"Excited for the return of Game of Thrones. Not excited for the return of the phrase, ""If you'd read the books, you'd know that..."""

"Just when we thought there were no more celebrities to die and then WHAM!"

"A cop that contemplates his existence: Philofficer"

"I'm still learning my pronouns... But that is neither here nor there."

"I used to own a nocturnal horse... She was a nightmare."

"My New Years resolution is to quit doing dick jokes. It does limit my material though. It does makes it...hard."