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Joke of the Day

"I hate it when people on a commercial have more fun in 30 seconds than I'll ever have on my whole life."

"I dreamed that I discovered a new color, but it was just a pigment of my imagination. Original joke, yay!"

"What do you call a place where they don't allow sleeveless shirts? A gun free zone"

"I asked a guy if he could hold my joke for me. guy ""Jokes aren't a thing, you can't hold them!"" me ""Wow, just can't take a joke can you."""

"Where did the Muslim go for his sandwich? Aaaaaaaaallah Snackbar."

"What did Captain Ahab say when he harpooned a whale's tail fin on the first try? ""Well that was a fluke."""

"What do you call it when a prostitute makes paper birds? Whore-igami"

"Two Na atoms are together on the battlefield... One of them gets shot. ""I've been hit!"" he yells. The other one looks at him. ""Are you sure?"" He replies, ""I'm positive!"""

"The great fire of London in 1666 started after dropping my mixtape too hard."

"I can almost always tell if a movie doesn't use real dinosaurs"