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Joke of the Day

"I asked a guy if he could hold my joke for me. guy ""Jokes aren't a thing, you can't hold them!"" me ""Wow, just can't take a joke can you."""

Next Joke
 
"Have you heard that president Assad has been making cheese? He's been getting the Kurds out of the whey (credit to Sambo85 - Sikipedia)"
"What's the difference between a 4 year old boy and a bag of cocaine? Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out a window."
"Florida is great, if you make a wrong turn you're at the beach."
"What's Israel favorite martial arts style? Jew-jitsu"
"THINGS CHICKS DIG: 1. Popcorn 2. Puppy dogs 3. I can't think of anything else, I'm very bad with women."
"Friends don't let friends drive drunk but I don't want them staying at my house And that's why Uber was created"
"Just saw a commercial for ""affordable napkins"" and now I feel stupid for buying all these diamond-encrusted ones."
"The closest I've come to working out in the last month has been a double sneeze. And I hurt my neck."
"there's a gang of pickpockets targeting midgets in my town... honestly, how could they stoop so low"