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Joke of the Day

"Two Na atoms are together on the battlefield... One of them gets shot. ""I've been hit!"" he yells. The other one looks at him. ""Are you sure?"" He replies, ""I'm positive!"""

"A conservative christian, a fat guy and a meat eater are all sitting at the bar... you'll find this in almost every bar in America."

"What does C3PO stand for? Because he's got rusty knees."

"What is the first derivative of a cow? A prime rib."

"An Irishman walked out of a bar. What? It could've happened!"

"Nothing ruins your Friday faster than realizing it's only Wednesday."

"[JanSport keynote address] (audience grumbling) ""where is he?"" *CEO emerges from backpack on stage* *crowd goes nuts*"

"Good job on the speed traps, cops - How are the getting murdered traps coming along?"

"If you're Russian when you go into the bathroom, and Finnish when you come out; what are you while in the bathroom? European"

"Fireworks? Yes it does."