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Joke of the Day
"Atoms are the biggest liars in the universe... They make up everything."
Next Joke
"I got a $100 bill tattooed on my penis.... My girlfriend asked why I did it, and I told her 'well you're always asking for money to blow...'"
"Did you hear about the guy who had to be exorcised? He couldn't pay the priest afterwards and got repossessed."
"Vegetarians have been screaming, ""Save the Animals!"" for years. If they were really interested in animals, why do they keep beating a dead horse?"
"When #EgyptAir announced ""he's not a terrorist, just an idiot"" My ex wife phoned to see if it was me."
"My boss told me to dress for the job I want, not the job I have. Now I'm sitting in a disciplinary meeting in a Batman costume."
"Apparently it was a bad idea to ask Siri ""What do women want?"" She's been talking nonstop for the last two days now."
"What happens when a muppet gives you a blowjob? A handjob"
"Slash: Ok whats Paradise City like? Izzy: Pretty girls? ""Yeah!"" Axl: Nice lawns! ""Huh?"" Axl: Green grass! ""Grass is alw-"" Axl: JUST WRITE IT"
"Three guys walked into a bar... the fourth one ducked."