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Joke of the Day

"Why do the elephants have short tails ? Because they can't remember long stories !"

"I admit opening an alligator petting zoo was not the best idea, but I told the kids to be careful so there's plenty of blame to go around."

"What type of target shooting does Lil Jon do? Skeet skeet motherfucker!"

"Whenever you see a sword swallower perform, it makes you wonder what sort of activities they used to do to make them realize they had this talent."

"The only problem with winning concert tickets from a Pepsi lid is that you will be attending a concert with a bunch of Pepsi drinkers"

"Whats the difference between a black guy and a snow tire? A snow tire doesnt sing when you put chains on it."

"It might take more muscles to frown than to smile, but it takes even less to completely avoid eye contact in the first place."

"Me: Can I have $5? Mom: What happened to the $5 I gave you in 1998?"

"""Getting fat"" is absolutely a legitimate response to ""what have you been up to?"""

"I tried to write with my broken pencil today it was pointless"