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Joke of the Day
"Are you today's date? Because your 10/10."
Next Joke
"I wish the girls who rejected me in high school could see how many Pokemon I've caught."
"If I've learned anything in my 29 years, it's never admit your real age."
"Damn girl, did you fall from heaven? Because it looks like your face hit the ground first."
"Never ever... Never trust a midget that tells you your wife's hair smells nice."
"Lost my car keys so I'm forcing the guy at Home Depot to make me new ones based on what I remember about them."
"[son hands me a picture he painted] Me: what's this Son: it's our house Me: have you ever actually looked at our house"
"What is a ninja's favorite beverage? WA-TAHHHHH! Edit: **notBenstar** and **dogboyboy** are correct... Ninjas are silent killers. So, it should read: ""What is Bruce Lee's favorite beverage."""
"Where would you park your camel? The Camelot. PS Booze helped with this and now I'm laughing alone in my apartment Edit: Went to class, came back, saw this. Me and my cat are thoroughly pleased."
"If pro is the opposite of con, what's the opposite of progress."