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Joke of the Day

"Nervous around the person you like? Sue them. They'll be forced to see you in court, well dressed & in control. Let the law be your wingman."

Next Joke
 
"Did you hear the CEO of Twitter got in trouble for buying shares of rival companies? I guess it was a conflict of Pinterest."
"What did the writing utensil take for his high sugar level? Pencil-in."
"Is it cocky to have more than one penis? I think it's two cocky."
"What has 4 legs and 1 arm? A pit bull."
"How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two. The trouble's getting them in there."
"Last night I made love to my wife while camping.... It was in tents"
"Superman biggest weakness is not kryptonite. It's horses."
"Who are the world's fastest readers? (NSFW) 9/11 victims. They went through 80 stories in 8 seconds."
"There's both a McDonald's and a blood pressure machine at our Walmart. Circle of life."