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Joke of the Day

"Is it cocky to have more than one penis? I think it's two cocky."

"Yo momma so fat she jumped in the air and got stuck."

"My dream girl? Dirty blond hair, strong arms, cold eyes, immaculately shaped facial hair, no remorse -Are you describing Chuck Norris? Yes"

"I said I was mad at myself. My 4yo son looked at me. ""There are fancier words for mad,"" he said, fixing my hair. ""You should say irritated."""

"Manager: I'll give you fifty pounds a week to start with and a hundred pounds a week in a year's time? Young player: OK I'll come back in a year's time!"

"Why did the woman sky-diver wear a jock strap? So she didn't whistle on the way down."

"[in DM] She: Don't talk like that. Me: With my thumbs?"

"Why does everyone love Plato? Because he loved Dogs and he had two sons named Plato and Socrates"

"Why did the boy put candles on the toilet? He wanted to have a birthday potty!"

"I disapprove of every conspiracy of which I am not a part."