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Joke of the Day
"I went to a baby shower I was torn between a vacuum or a coat hanger as a gift"
Next Joke
"Just had an awful drive home. I was forced to ride side by side with another car for 5 minutes. We managed to avoid eye contact, but still."
"""Squad goals,"" I said, aloud, to nobody, as two rats helped each other move an entire bagel into a hole in the subway tracks"
"If there's ever a zombie outbreak, it should happen in Las Vegas Because what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas."
"I'm not a lucky man I once gambled on a couch and won a baby"
"""Could you not joke about tragedies?"" my friend once said to me. Studies show that 9 out of 11 people find these kind of jokes to be offensive."
"Twitter: where strangers will explain your joke back to you."
"In biology class my teacher asked ""What is most commonly found in cells?"" Apparently ""black people"" was not the right answer"
"How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Obviously more than 8, because my basement is still dark."
"How do you make both God and Satan angry at you? You rape Satan's wife."