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Joke of the Day

"How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Obviously more than 8, because my basement is still dark."

"Girls: just remember each morning when you put on makeup, somewhere in the world a clown is starting his day doing exactly the same thing."

"What do you call a mexican who lost his car? carlos"

"My penis was in the Guinness book of world records... Then the librarian told me to take it out."

"Log Entry 21: it's been 3 weeks & we're still lost in this Macy's. We were forced to eat Amy. Polo ties are now 40% off."

"Sean Connery doing a knock knock joke (X-post from /shubreddit) Dishes. Dishes who? Dishes Sean Connery"

"Sorry I thought your older sister was your daughter and then made everyone else at the restaurant guess your age."

"What does a man with a 10 inch dick have for breakfast? Well, this morning I had bacon, eggs, juice..."

"If the cat's got your tongue, it's your fault. What did you expect, making out with a cat?"

"Mom said angels are watching over me I'm just afraid they're taking notes to make sure I go to hell."