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Joke of the Day

"How do you make both God and Satan angry at you? You rape Satan's wife."

"How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber? Ask them to pronouce unionized"

"A talking penguin walked into a bar and the bartender said: ""Hey, we have a drink named after you!"" And the penguin responded: ""Why do you have a drink named Bill?"""

"I had an affair with English. Since then, Math and I don't speak."

"If I must die someday, I hope it's in a burrito avalanche."

"What goes vroom rrt... vroom rrt... vroom rrt... A blond at a flashing red light."

"Did you hear that Sean Connery tried out speed-dating but he ended up making all his dates sick? He was told it was a shingles club."

"The Gay Magician Hey, Did you hear about the gay magician?........... He pulled a rabbit out of his ass!"

"What do you call a witch that stays out all night? A fresh air freak."

"Why did little Timmy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a canoe at him!!!"