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Joke of the Day

"Why couldn't the artist get a driver's license? He gave off a good Impression, but couldn't make a Van Gogh."

"Knock Knock... Knock Knock Who's there? I have runnyeep I have runnyeep who? hahaha! (You have to say it out loud to get it)"

"Ever hear of that cat turned vegan because of its vegan owner? Probably not, she died."

"A cicada crawled up my butt while I was sleeping last night. I'm not worried though. It'll come out in 13 years."

"Charles Manson not only got a woman while in prison, but a woman that only wanted him for his body. Screw Tinder, I'm going to prison."

"I'm fearfully awaiting the day my alarm clock becomes self-aware and the snooze button hits me back."

"What do you call a student that graduates bottom of their class in Med school? A doctor."

"What's denser than a feminist? Water. . . . . Water is denser than fat"

"A photographer and a mechanic have a child After two long days of searching for the perfect name, they name him Cam."

"4: Where did I come from? Me: Mommy's belly. 4: How'd I get there? Me: I, uh...put you there? 4: How did you... Me: WHO WANTS ICE CREAM?!"