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Joke of the Day
"What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing... It just waved."
Next Joke
"I once told a joke about Hinduism on r/jokes... It was instant karma."
"Sorry, there's a technical problem preventing me from RTing your tweets. Technically they're not funny."
"What's the difference between a USB and the USA? One connects to all your devices and accesses your data, the other is a harware standard."
"Facebook users are roaming the streets in tears, shoving photos of themselves in people's faces and screaming 'DO YOU LIKE THIS? DO YOU??'"
"A Frenchman walks into a library and asks for a book on warfare. The librarian tells him he'll only lose it."
"Jesus came to me in a dream and asked me ""do you know how much I love you?"" ""This much"" he said and he spread his arms and died."
"I'm not a great lap dancer, I've got two left cheeks."
"I thought they'd named a loaf of bread after one of my exes then I realised it said Thick Cut"
"Which is the only day you are safe in a cannibal village? Sitterdays (when they eat the baby-sitter instead)."