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Joke of the Day

"I don't care how old you are, the only safe way to guarantee the monster under the bed doesn't grab you is to use the run and jump method."

"Did you hear about the blind man who took a hammer and saw?"

"I had diarrhea and had some jalapeno sauce That came out badly"

"I told my sister a joke about the belts. I didn't know if it would hold up"

"I'm too young to be too old for everything."

"MEL GIBSON: HE'LL ONLY HIT YOU IF YOU FUCKING DESERVE IT. THAT'S THE MEL GIBSON PROMISE."

"How many Arabs does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They'll sit in the dark and blame the Jews"

"It's hard to take Star Trek's vision of the future seriously since everyone's not constantly on Twitter."

"Today I learned the Nazis were instrumental in the creation of Tang and other powdered fruit drinks But it didn't get far since Hitler hated the juice."

"What do Ryan Giggs and Imogen Thomas have in common? I'm not allowed to tell you"