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Joke of the Day
"I thought the recipe was for making margarine, however, it churned out to be butter."
Next Joke
"What's the slipperiest country? Greece!"
"My friend payed me to write a construction jobs for him. It's still a work in progress, just trying to get it hammered out. You know what, I think I just nailed it."
"""Florence + the Machine"" would be a funny name for a Leonardo da Vinci biopic. Follow this account for more goodass Renaissance tweets"
"When going to a furry convention... Everyone is game."
"What's a member of ISIS's favorite game? Mario Kart: Double Daesh!!"
"When my son goes to a party I always tell him ""No drinking, no drugs and ALWAYS be the first person in a Human Centipede chain."""
"If you're going to insist I get you a wedding gift, then I'm going to insist you bail me out when I get caught shoplifting it."
"What is Green...and Smells Like Pork? Kermit the Frog's Finger!!"
"I've decided I want to start a career in Mirror Cleaning It's just something I can see myself doing."