2002

Joke of the Day

"What's the slipperiest country? Greece!"

"Me: Is there something wrong with your pasta? 4-year-old: It's not a doughnut."

"Which hand would you use to pick up a dangerous snake ? Someone else's !"

"How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? It only takes two mice to screw in a light bulb. The hard part is getting them in there."

"Being a mom means saying things that shouldn't be threatening in a very threatening manner. Like, ""EAT YOUR CEREAL!"" for example."

"Midwife [handing my baby]: make sure you support his head Me: that's a really great, floppy little head you've got there. Well done"

"A communist a spy and a chinese walk into a bar He orders a drink."

"God is like Justin Bieber. I have nothing against him personally, but his fan club is super annoying."

"I just don't understand how to properly put together a play on words I think I'm just going to throw away my script for *The Dictionary in the Attic: An Anne Frank story*"

"God loves everyone You know, it's in that book you hold up when you're yelling at gay people."