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Joke of the Day

"Funny shaped potato joke Q: What do you call a penis-shaped potato? A: A ""Dick-tatter""."

"If women are people, why are they so stupid? Seriously. Even the smartest and most accomplished women are dumber than the most retarded head lice."

"Waiter: Why are you taking so long to order? Diner: I can't decide whether I want heartburn or nausea."

"Way to bring me down, security questions. Dad's birthday? First pet? What's next? Gonna ask about Marco Black rejecting me in 2nd grade?"

"A major yet unspoken difference between medieval times and now is... These days, if someone owns a sword, it's a pretty safe bet you can kick their ass."

"I hope ""citibank"" is better at math than spelling."

"Why did Lionel go to the medical store? because it was pharmacy."

"""She is not fine."" ~Sun Tzu"

"I have an idea for a movie combining my two favorite genres. Zombies and Mafia...I'm going to call it ""Deadfellas""."

"Black friday, ughhhh ALL FRIDAYS MATTER!"