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Joke of the Day

"You think you know all about fractions... But you don't know the half of it."

"just saw Gravity. excuse me while I go hug the earth."

"Why couldn't the wizard get the witch pregnant? He had a hollow-weenie"

"My wife said she was leaving me because of my obsession with bodybuilding. I could feel the weight lifting from my shoulders."

"[two australians playing chess in a restaurant] check, mate *everyone explodes*"

"I could never commit suicide I just couldn't live with it..."

"How do you have a party in space? You planet."

"I went on to AA.com looking for help with my drinking problem, but somehow walked away with plane tickets to Oktoberfest."

"BREAKING NEWS: Patriots admit Tim Tebow hired by mistake. After tight end Aaron Hernandez request for white Bronco."

"New to reddit so thought I'd start by sharing one of my favourite jokes. When is a pixie not a pixie? When he's got his head up a faeries skirt, then he's a goblin!"