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Joke of the Day

"just saw Gravity. excuse me while I go hug the earth."

"My niece was born with no eyelids, bless her heart, but the doctors were able to replace them with surgically removed foreskin... Only side effect is she's a little cock-eyed now."

"What do you call an Arab riding a camel with a goat on a leash? Bisexual."

"Autistic guy didn't get paid for a whole year while working at Applebee's. Life is hard for stauving autists."

"What do you call a pregnant air hostess Pilot error"

"Why aren't you allowed alcohol on a golf course? Because it's a crime to drink and drive."

"what's the best part about electing Hillary Clinton? Being able to pay her 33% less"

"My friend got a bad haircut today. I told him it will grow on him."

"A man took his family to the zoo The only animal in the zoo was a dog. It was a Shih Tzu."

"I haven't showered since last year. It's still 2014, right?"