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Joke of the Day

"Ladies ... I will solve the argument of the proper skirt length for you. The proper length is at least 2 inches below your cellulite"

"What nationality is Santa Claus? North Polish."

"I've got good news and bad news... GOOD NEWS: Hillary lost the presidency BAD NEWS: Trump won the presidency"

"Camouflage training ""Soldier!"" ""Yes, sergeant!"" ""I haven't seen you at camouflage training today!"" ""Thank you, sergeant!"""

"""My wife is such a racist... she won't let me date black girls."" -Andy Breckman"

"Happy new year everyone! Sorry, I'm a premature congratulator."

"A smooth close shave with a brand new razor blade is the best feeling in the world! ... was not the best thing to say to my wife shortly after sex."

"I found a spider in my shoes. He looks ridiculous, they're way too big for him."

"Women who want to renew your wedding vows.... Why not renew the bachelorette party? You'd probably have more fun."

"No amount of minority filled commercials can ruin Red Lobster for me."