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Joke of the Day

"Women who want to renew your wedding vows.... Why not renew the bachelorette party? You'd probably have more fun."

"I came up with an excuse for being late I was marching with Martin Luther King, but then some firemen mistook us for fire and tried to put us out; that's why I was late sorry."

"Why are bananas so popular? Because they have appeal"

"Why couldn't the taxidermist finish anything he started? Because he kept getting side tracked by pet projects"

"Birds shit on us because we tweet better."

"Why do seagulls fly over the sea Because if they flew over the bay then they would be bagels"

"There was a young barmaid... There was a young barmaid from Sail, On her breasts were the prices of ale, And on her behind For the sake of the blind; Was the same information in braille."

"I read in the local paper someone was going around pickpocketing midgets. I never thought someone could stoop so low."

"NSFW:Got a handjob from a blind girl last night She said ""You have the biggest dick I've ever put my hands on."" I said ""Nah. You're just pulling my leg."" Originally from r/meanjokes"

"I like my coffee black Like Jesus"