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Joke of the Day

"No amount of minority filled commercials can ruin Red Lobster for me."

"Why is English such a hard language to learn? Because it's"

"What makes a salami excited? When the ham is cured!"

"Did you hear about the woman who had twelve boobs? Sounds fake, dozen tit?"

"My wife recently broke up with me because I'm a compulsive gambler. All I can think about is how to win her back."

"I remember as a child lying in bed and waiting for Santa Claus to come. And how afterwards it would be so silent and awkward as he got dressed to leave."

"My girlfriend pegged me for the first time last night. The sex was great, but I don't know why she insisted on wearing an eye patch."

"There used to be a superhero that could turn into furniture and wore a crown... He was sofa king cool."

"Go to an open house and ask the realtor if they'll stand in the basement with the door closed so you can hear if screams are audible outside"

"Some girls on Facebook are cute until their 30-day photoshop trial expires."