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Joke of the Day

"mailman: ahhh nothing quite like returning home from a long day delivering m- [gets attacked by his own dog]"

"Practicing for my audition tape for ""MTV True Life: Let's go huff some fucking glue"""

"My Irish friend was telling me about his uncle. ""My uncle's a cop, you know,"" he said. ""Oh, really?"" ""No, O'Riley."""

"What's pun plus pun? Poo"

"John: There are places... Paul: I remember George: All my life, though... Ringo: How can antibiotics and pro-biotics both be good for you"

"New headphones model about to hit stores. Its called beats by Chris Brown."

"I have a tattoo of a gigantic bruise on my left ankle in case anyone ever asks me to go hiking. Or help them move."

"Why do windbreakers smell bad? Because all they do is break wind."

"The first couple months of the year go by quickly. February just Marches on."

"Why was the magnet seeing the Psychiatrist? Because it was bipolar."