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Joke of the Day

"I made a drink called Hit The Road Jack It's Jack Daniels mixed with methanol. (Blind jokes are the best kind)"

"My computer sings. It's a Dell."

"Why don't women blink during foreplay? They don't have time."

"I wonder if all weather forecasts I see on the internet are on a cloud storage?..."

"I've fallen in love with a pencil and we're getting married. I can't wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B."

"Don't make jokes about 9/11... they're just plane wrong."

"How much does a cockney spend on shampoo? Paan ten."

"What do you call someone who swings both ways? A child, it's a child on a swing you fuckin' sicko; get outta here"

"[spelling bee] JUDGE: your word is 'contempt' ME: can you use it in a sentence? JUDGE: [mocking voice] can you use it in a sentence?"

"The fun thing about wigs is when someone complements you on your hair, you can rip it off and say, ""Here. Take it. No, I insist."""