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Joke of the Day
"Why did the elephant eat the candle? He wanted a light snack!"
Next Joke
"Mum why am i getting my Christmas present in August? Because its cheaper than chemo."
"Q: What do prisoners use to call each other? A: Cell phones."
"ActivityBuddy A new app is sweeping the AppStore, using GPS technology similar to Grindr/ Tinder, ActivityBuddy matches up people who enjoy the same activity. The #1 activity? Anonymous gay sex."
"Do you have 11 protons? Because you are sodium fine :p"
"Someone told me testimony is unreliable I don't believe them."
"Trump is like a racehorse.... If it aint running, it's just an ass."
"Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken!"
"So a baby seal walks into a club. The end."
"[Man in restaurant] I'll have that lobster please. *points to aquarium containing lobster putting finishing touches to his octopus disguise*"