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Joke of the Day
"Why did the elephant eat the candle? He wanted a light snack!"
Next Joke
"""Here, let me fill your head with a bunch of opinionated bullshit that's not actually news"" - Every major news outlet"
"My wife is SO immature... I was upstairs taking a bath, and she walks in, and for NO REASON WHATSOEVER she sunk all my boats."
"With a wheelchair, everyday is Halloween! Children are scared of you, adults try to guess what you are, and the elderly just give you candy! Paraphrased from the wonderful Zach Anner"
"Jesus take the wheel Carlos you take the stereo I'll take lookout"
"What is a Dolphins favorite ingredient? All porpoise flour."
"What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer? The freezer doesn't fart when you pull your meat out."
"What are the 4 dirtiest streets in Philadelphia? Turner, Front, Mascher, Cherry"
"guess who's still together after all these years and all the shit between them! Your butt cheeks."
"I once knew a soldier who suffered through both mustard gas and pepper spray. He was a seasoned veteran."