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Joke of the Day
"A man walks into a bar And stays there my entire childhood"
Next Joke
"""She queefed violently, immediately fogging the windows of my Volvo wagon. I knew then I belonged to her."" - from my new novel, NIGHT SOIL"
"Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once."
"I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe."
"Why's Guantanamo Bay full of actors? Because they all shot pilots."
"I hate forensic TV shows like CSI. I know for a fact that they are completely unrealistic... I mean come on, women detectives?"
"Dust bunnies are great pets because they thrive on neglect."
"A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's...That's because she changes it more often."
"Don't sell yourself short, in fact, don't sell yourself at all. I'm pretty sure it's illegal"
"What's brown and sounds like a bell? Dung"